Marriage From Roots To Fruits | Matt Pavlik

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On The Path

July 3, 2013 by Matt Pavlik

Jesus makes it clear that the hardest place to be is On the Path. In marriage, when both partners’ hearts are hard, look out! They will either tear each other apart or be so disengaged that no relationship exists. Either way, the result is an empty, unfruitful relationship.

Jesus says the seed sown along the path is like someone hearing the words but having no understanding. He equates understanding with fruitfulness. The ground is so hard the seed cannot penetrate. When growth cannot begin, a couple loses the opportunity to be a source of light in a dark world. They may be together only by habit and convenience. If they have not already given up, they are in danger of separation, divorce, or some type of extra-marital affair.

A conflicted relationship consists of either extreme conflict (battling for the last crumb) or extreme disconnection (not speaking for days). The path represents immaturity—being oblivious to how to make the relationship work.

Couple Characteristics

  • Intense frustration, anger, and loneliness;
  • Regular unresolved conflict with defensive self-focus and hurtful words and behaviors;
  • A stubborn lack of ownership coupled with blame-shifting;
  • All or nothing thinking;
  • Dependence on each other for contentment;
  • Confusion from a lack of definition and direction;
  • Rare, if any, enjoyment of the relationship resulting in a lack of positive memories; and
  • High expectations and needs along with a low ability to meet needs.

A couple who lacks relational skills, positive experiences, a validating history, and an understanding of God’s intention for marriage will feel a tangible hopelessness.

Filed Under: The Four Soils

About the Author

Matt Pavlik is a licensed professional clinical counselor who has a heart for healing marriages. He has counseled individuals and couples at his Christian counseling practice, New Reflections Counseling, since 2003. He completed his Masters in Clinical Pastoral Counseling from Ashland Theological Seminary and his Bachelors in Computer Science from the University of Illinois. Matt and his wife Georgette have been married over 18 years and live with their four children in Centerville, Ohio.
Matt’s mission is to use the wisdom he receives from God to help others understand God’s design for life. Learn more at christianconcepts.com.

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